-=+No Hidden Smile Behind The Mask+=-

a_jokers_facade @ 2004-09-02T15:04:00

2004-08-03T22:13:16Z

I think im going to delete this. mhm..maybe I will. if you want me to add you to a list of one im keeping, comment..

you can reach me at

www.livejournal.com/users/love_enchanted

Im going to erase my loveharddiefast one too..Indeedy, I belive I am...

a_jokers_facade @ 2004-08-06T16:59:00

2004-07-08T00:29:51Z

I'd like to issue out a message for the anonymous [coughscottcough] poster. This is the last time I waste time on you.You are rude, you are foolish. It isn't that I can't handle your 'truth's as you call the stupidity you type and leave for myself to read. It is that I choose not to. I have more important things to do and deal with then a misreable old man who has nothing more to do with his pathetic downward spiraling life then to harrass my friends and I, teenagers. It is beneath you, but then again you obviously are a low person. However Im sure you're quite nice without the horns and ugly disposition as well as face once you get down past the scaly old wrinkled skin. Sadly, I do not wish to find out. You can post a comment if you must to justify, reedem, or make yourself look worse. I don't care, it'll just be erased and ignored. Please, do find someone else's life to shove your way into and attempt, and fail, to tear down because yours did not work out in the least.

This Journal Is Now

Friends Only

Comment To Be Added

-=Penny and Me =-

2004-07-05T08:50:48Z

so, I showed emily matt's pic and their chatting it up on the phone. which is good, it gives her something to do, but she thinks i'm mad at her. I'm not. I'm just..bored, and blah. Upset about austin, worried about georgie, I wanna kill logan. And she's making me sound horrible. Jesus christ, why Don't I fucking shoot myself now? Im horrid, im a horrid ugly person who should die.

FUCKING SHOOT ME

Weres Georgie?

2004-07-03T07:30:27Z

Alright! you know what, now I'm worried. he goes " I want to hear your voice. I'm going to call at eleven fifteen your time." and, it's twelve thirty now. Usuaully, (everytime) when georgie says he's going to call..he does . This is why I'm Tres worried. I hope he didn't go driving when he was drunk. Im hoping he isn't going to hurt himself. I hope to god he's alseep in his warm, nice bed. Otherwise..I'll have to make a little trip to do some ass kicking. Nah, I'd get there and hug the hell out of him..

God, I'm worried..

Georgie Baby,Were Are You?!...

-=so you can see behind the facade=-

2004-06-29T03:26:24Z

1. Name: Lisa
2. Single or taken: taken. Dr.Pepper Folks.
3. Sex: only with aus
4. Bday: dec.9
5. Sign: sagg. ARCHERY!!
6. Siblings: haley raye. :D I luvluvluv her.
7. Hair Color: ....blondeish..reddish..ee..
8. Eye Color: pale green. I hate them
9. Shoe Size: eight. ..or ninw..depends on what type of shoe and all that.
10. Height: 5'6

r e l a t i o n s h i p s
1. Who are your best friends? austin, tina, amy, georgie, emily..:D..jasamine..valarie. terra. ruthie.
2. do you have a boyfriend: yeah, and he's like my personal dr.pepper. he makes the world taste better; but..better. make sense?

s p e c i f i c s
1. Do you do drugs?: no. hell. fucken. no.
2. What kind of shampoo do you use?: fructis. smells good, makes my hair all soft and shiny.
3. What are you most scared of?: the dark after scary movies unless I can hold onto someone or be held; uhhh..spiders. cock roaches. being alone; abandoned.
4. What are you listening to right now? mr. sandman..ooh babbyy..
5. Who is the last person that called you?: georgie, and boy, your going to make me get a fat head! <3
6. Where do you want to get married?: anywear is fine with me. as long as theres snow..actually, only thing I need at my wedding is austin. woah. dont get scared..
7. How many buddies are online right now? no idea..19. and one of them, that i want on..isnt.
8. What would you change about yourself?: almost everything, sad to say. I dont like much about me. in fact, nothing. it surprises me other people like me.

f a v o r i t e s
1. Color: black pink, dark blue, crimson.
2. Food: anything with cheese and meat.
3. Boy's names: austin,adam,cory,connor,conrad,garret, micheal,Ian...more..to many..
4. Girl's names: roari. ally..alison..amy...o.o...more but cant think
6. Animals:panther,tiger wolves
7. Sports: swimming

h a v e | y o u | e v e r
1. Given anyone a bath?: myself!
2. Smoked?: hell. nooo
3. Bungee jumped?: hahahah NO O_o
4. Made yourself throw up?: ...yeah..
5. Skinny dipped?: no. hell no. my body..ewwh
6: Ever been in love?: i am now.
7. Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: heh. yes
8. Pictured your crush naked?: ..[blush] SHUDDUP..
9. Actually seen your crush naked?: ..:( nope.
10. Cried when someone died: ..yeah..and cried when people talked about dieing...
11. Lied: to many times
12. Fallen for your best friend?: eek. yes.
13. Been rejected?: who hasn't?

14. Rejected someone?: [winch] yes.
15. Used someone?: I suppose so, yeah..
16. Done something you regret?: to many to count. my whole life is one huge regret.

c u r r e n t
Clothes: denim faded skirt, pink fishnets, pink and black chopsticks, pink eyeshadow, black bra, tinkerbelle underwear,black high tops, pink and black barbed wire bracelets, striped low cut tee. :D
Annoyance:

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1. Name: Lisa 
2. Single or taken: taken. Dr.Pepper Folks.
3. Sex: only with aus 
4. Bday: dec.9 
5. Sign: sagg. ARCHERY!! 
6. Siblings: haley raye. :D I luvluvluv her. 
7. Hair Color: ....blondeish..reddish..ee..
8. Eye Color: pale green. I hate them 
9. Shoe Size: eight. ..or ninw..depends on what type of shoe and all that.
10. Height: 5'6 

r e l a t i o n s h i p s
1. Who are your best friends? austin, tina, amy, georgie, emily..:D..jasamine..valarie. terra. ruthie. 
2. do you have a boyfriend: yeah, and he's like my personal dr.pepper. he makes the world taste better; but..better. make sense? 

s p e c i f i c s
1. Do you do drugs?: no. hell. fucken. no. 
2. What kind of shampoo do you use?: fructis. smells good, makes my hair all soft and shiny. 
3. What are you most scared of?: the dark after scary movies unless I can hold onto someone or be held; uhhh..spiders. cock roaches. being alone; abandoned.
4. What are you listening to right now? mr. sandman..ooh babbyy..
5. Who is the last person that called you?: georgie, and boy, your going to make me get a fat head! <3 
6. Where do you want to get married?: anywear is fine with me. as long as theres snow..actually, only thing I need at my wedding is austin. woah. dont get scared..
7. How many buddies are online right now? no idea..19. and one of them, that i want on..isnt. 
8. What would you change about yourself?: almost everything, sad to say. I dont like much about me. in fact, nothing. it surprises me other people like me. 

f a v o r i t e s
1. Color: black pink, dark blue, crimson.
2. Food: anything with cheese and meat. 
3. Boy's names: austin,adam,cory,connor,conrad,garret, micheal,Ian...more..to many..
4. Girl's names: roari. ally..alison..amy...o.o...more but cant think 
6. Animals:panther,tiger wolves 
7. Sports: swimming 

h a v e | y o u | e v e r
1. Given anyone a bath?: myself! 
2. Smoked?: hell. nooo
3. Bungee jumped?: hahahah NO O_o 
4. Made yourself throw up?: ...yeah..
5. Skinny dipped?: no. hell no. my body..ewwh 
6: Ever been in love?: i am now. 
7. Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: heh. yes 
8. Pictured your crush naked?: ..[blush] SHUDDUP..
9. Actually seen your crush naked?: ..:( nope. 
10. Cried when someone died: ..yeah..and cried when people talked about dieing...
11. Lied: to many times 
12. Fallen for your best friend?: eek. yes.
13. Been rejected?: who hasn't? 

14. Rejected someone?: [winch] yes. 
15. Used someone?: I suppose so, yeah..
16. Done something you regret?: to many to count. my whole life is one huge regret. 

c u r r e n t
Clothes: denim faded skirt, pink fishnets, pink and black chopsticks, pink eyeshadow, black bra, tinkerbelle underwear,black high tops, pink and black barbed wire bracelets, striped low cut tee. :D 
Annoyance: 
Smell: do not ask 
Favorite artist: anne rice. writing is an art. 
Favorite group: dont have one. 
Desktop picture: your love hurts 
CD in player: oldies. :D 
DVD in player: ..dont own one. 
Color of toenails: no color 

l a s t | p e r s o n
You touched: larry 
Hugged: emily 
You IMed: geoargie! <3 
You yelled at: gramz 
You kissed: WOOAAHH. er...carlos. 
a r e | y o u
Understanding: i try 
Open-minded: i try 
Interesting: not really. 
random: i trrryy. i think i succeed. 
Hungry: kind of. but im afraid to ask for food. 
Smart: thats funny. no 
hardworking: I can be if I wanna. 
Organized: depends on what it is. 
Shy: depends on who im around. 
Difficult: most the time. 
Attractive: im the fucken sequel to swamp thing. dah dur, no. 
Bored easily: always 
Messy: Im sickening 
Responsible: I can be 
Obsessed: im the girl who looked up a map to my boyfriends base, with no way to get there..for FUN. duh..
Angry: I was yesterday 
Sad: sort of...:( 
Happy: a bit. ^_^ tenku georgie! 
Hyper: for once. no. 
Trusting: To the point that it will lead me to my doom. 
Talkative: not to much at the moment 

w h o | d o | y o u | w a n n a
Kill: my aunt paula. 
Slap: ...cant put her it. she throw a fit..
Look like: angelina jolie 
talk to offline: austin 
Talk to online: austin 

r a n d o m
In the morning I am: alert, hyper 
All I need is: my friends, and austin. clothes..who needs em? [wink] 
Love is: something I feel for another human being, but no longer do I feel like..I NEED it. (this does not mean I dont need aus. i do. he is my air. ) 

w h i c h | i s | b e t t e r
Coke or Pepsi: they both suck! 
Flowers or Candy: flowers. they smell good, besides I dont need more fat..
Tall or Short: tall. I wanna look up into my lovers eyes.

o p p o s i t e | s e x
What do you notice first: eyes, smile, sense of humor..
First person you slow danced with: ..[glance away]..I havnt..
Worst question to ask: "so uh, yeah uh, back of my car, or uh...the ground? 
What makes you laugh the most: georgies little.."YEAH." 
Who gives you a funny feeling when you see them?: ..aus..
Who has a crush on you: no one. pfft...
Is easiest to talk to: aus and georgie..

N u m b e r
Of times I have had my heart broken: I could open up a heartbreak hotel 
umber of hearts i have broken: NO IDEA. 
Of guys ive kissed: fook Your mom. three? 
Of girls ive kissed: six? 
Of continents I have lived in: 1 
Of tight friends: like. ten. 
Of cds I own: around 60? 
Of scars on my body: lets not go there 
Two of the things that I regret: again, no going there.

-=Drop The Facade=-

2004-06-28T02:42:15Z

Lately, I've been getting sick of my best friend. I mean, she's always going on and on about how great cory is. she tells me almost everything he says, what he does, were he lives. everything. It's fucken annoying as hell, but I don't say anything against it. I support it for her. I don't tell her to shut up, I listen and make posative comments. Besides, the things she tells me, that she says not to tell..I don't. Now though, she's always tearing down austin and my's relationship. she always has something negative to say about it. she always rants about how he's a perverted bastard. also, she goes around telling people stuff about what he and I talk about, even though I asked her to keep it seceret. I didnt know who to talk to about it, so I chose her. now like, my whole summer school class knows. just dandy. when I get mad, she acts like it's some huge offense, and she tells me to 'get the stick out of my ass.' well, you know what emily, fuck you. you go around broadcasting my secerets, jokingly, but you still do it. you tear down my relationship, jab at it, stab at it, try and fucken murder it, and im supposed to laugh and smile? besides, whenever I give you a dose of your own medicane, you act like it's some huge surprise like, how can I be so mean? well, I can and will. like today. this was the last straw. I havnt talked to aus since friday, and I miss him. I love him for christs sakes. anyway, he came on, and my comp went down. when I got back on he was gone. I was almost gunna cry. emily called, and was all "whats wrong?" and I went "I missed aus.." and she was all.."oh god." like you know, what the fuck ever your lame for caring kind of way. I got pissed. I went. "what?" and she's all.."nothing." and i went "whatever. my phones about to die, I'll talk to you later." shes all "BULLSHIT LISA. YOUR PISSED." and I hung up on her. Im sick of this shit.
DO YOU HEAR ME EMILY. FUCKEN SICK OF THIS SHIT. Im supportive of her cory relationship. I was supportive when she started dating the guy I LIKE. I was supportive when she was depressed and way to fucken emo over justin.I WAS SUPPORTIVE. now this bullshit. well fuck you emily ann curtis. fuck you to hell, I wont miss you when your at iowa. In fact. I wish you were gone.
like.
now.

a_jokers_facade @ 2004-06-27T15:48:00

2004-06-27T23:38:24Z

Fight Club!

What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

That's so true.

You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

People Like My Kisses, At Least, They Havn't Complained!

BEAUTIFUL ICE PRINCESS/PRINCE .You need distance
between you and your partner in your
relationship. You are very difficult to get.
You have big requirements and this one you love
must try hard to get you. But after she/he melt
your heart she/he will be the most happy person
in the world. You need someone who shows you
that you are special and it makes you feel
good to see that you are loved. She/He shall
know that you could easily get another
girl/boyfriend but you wont as long as you
love him. when she/he hurts you you will hurt
him too, but in general you dont get hurt. If
your partner cheated you ,you would react cold
and immediately (try to) forget him
PLEASE VOTE, I want to know what you think about my
quiz, I worked hard on it.You can always
message me or tell me how I can improve that
quiz. Ill sure write back.

~THE big LOVE TEST!! What do you need? With PICS! For girls and boys!~
brought to you by Quizilla

woah. kind of accurate. what I read of it. hehehe.

Lactating Barbie? What the fuck is wrong with you?
Snap out of it and kill the kid while you still
can!

If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla

I adore kids, but sometimes...[strangle motion with hands]

kinky isn't a feather...its using the whole damn
chicken! and you kno it. you are so kinky that
even you are afraid of yourself sometimes.

What type of SEX do You enjoy?
brought to you by Quizilla

ooo baby...but only with austin. that boy brings out the worst in me?

Nerdslut

What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla

that makes me giggle. well. im off. more of em later.

-=Real Facade=-

2004-06-27T00:17:06Z

well. today has been alright so far. Austin called last night, but I was babysitting. so, we didn't really get to talk. had to censor the conversation. at least, I censored it. he on the other hand kept whispering dirty things. damn him. :D ugh. finally. when I was ready to say stuff back, he calls while im BABYSITTING. He talked to kayla, the girl I was babysitting for alittle bit though. god he has a lot of patience. it was so cute. shes all. "ASK IF HE LOVES YOU." and he heard. he was like.." Lisa..I love you.." that. boy. makes me melt. I kind of told my grandma about him, because, my phone glitched and hung up on him. then he called back, and she was like "WHO KEEPS CALLING?" and then..she accidentaly hung up on him. she was all. "lisa marie, who is that boy?" "uh..his name is austin..he's 19. in the army. he's a good friend." I left out the fact he's my boyfriend. major detail. she'll know when I turn 18 though. so telling her that tidbit can wait. He said I love you twice! I hope he calls today or gets on. something..
I joined a few communities. :D I joined..aim whores. I put some stuff about me, and a few people IM'd me. like..david. a muscian. he's pretty chill for an adult. (j/k david. hahaha) we're going to take over the world together. he's awesome. and dilbert. he's pretty awesome as well. :D!! he makes me llauuggh. it isn't hard having a convo with him. he's cool. went to anaheim high [hiss]hehehe. I dunno. a few others, like george. he thinks im cool, and down to earth. two things i've never heard applied to me. he's from iowa. he's chill too. hmmm..I joined a bad_bitch community so I can rant about people. like emily. who has to constantly rag on aus and I's realtionship. jealous bitch. I love her, but jesus christ! eh. I had a weird ass dream. I had raunchy phone sex with aus. in someone elses house. it was..extremly...weird..and ..erotic. because, what he'd say..I felt. do girls have wet dreams? like, you actually think you feel it? becuase, I had one of those. goooodd. nmmm..dsljkf..but yes. anyway. im done for the mo, love ya all kiddies!

-=Just A Facade Away=-

2004-06-26T01:42:24Z

This is going to be a story. enjoy!

I leaned against the wall, hiding my eyes from garret as he stood infront of me. I knew he was angry with me, and didn't know why. I hated it when he was angry with me. "You-" he started, and I lifted my head looking at him curiously. He let out a frustrated sigh."You're In there, parading around, performing. For them ?! They're theives and cut throats. I do not want you in there." he reached out, sliding his fingertips down my painted cheek. I scowled lightly, ignoring the fact that his touch made me feel warm inside. "what would you have me do? perform at the Donji?! oh yes, let all them laugh at the half-bred witch bitch princess." My voice was soft, and without anger or bitterness. I knew my fate I understood it. Gideon however did not. how could he? he was heir to the throne, full bred royalty. He hadn't been cast out once his mother had been banished. In fact his mother was very much alive, and also Very Much Queen."Yes-" he started to say, then did a double take and glared. "No. I meant..Jesus Christ Rellie." he crossed his arms over his chest looking around my temporary room with distaste. It was small, and rather unclean I had to admit myself. "I'll talk to father, or..something. You cant perform for these men." I shrugged my shoulders casually. He reached out, sliding his fingertips over the tears that I had painted below my eyes to accompany the scene. he sighed. "I'd like to see you genuinely smile for once, not this...face paint." he trailed his fingers around my mouth ever so slowly; and I closed my eyes as I enjoyed his gentle touch. He lowered his head, and though I knew it was wrong, I did not move away from him as he placed his soft lips to my own; kissing me roughly, hungrily. as if we hadn't kissed in months. when In reality, I guess we hadn't. we had been behaving. thoughts of performing,thoughts of everything else in the world was shoved out of my mind as gideon parted my lips with his tongue.I parted my lips, letting him in like I always did. there were few things I said no to to gideon. this was one of them. He pushed me up against the door, blocking anyones entrance and his warm body crushed mine. I let out a soft moan of pleasure as the doorknob dug into my back. My fingers raised to snake through his long black hair, gripping it as I gently pulled. he moaned, causing me to shiver violently as I took his teeth in my mouth and bit down. he let out another low groan and ground his hips against mine, and I bit back my own moan. I pushed forward against him as his hands slid over my body, finding every inch of me with his fingertips, unafraid to explore. of course, he knew every inch of me. why would he be afraid? I slid my leg around his waist, balancing myself against him and the door on one leg. Years of acrobatics and climbing had done alot for me. He continued the ravage on my mouth as he slid his hand onto my breast, gripping it firmly with his palm. He squeezed roughly and I let out a soft whimper, tears coming to my eyes. He let out a harsh laugh, ripping open the front of my tight leather shirt. It came apart easily, and fluttered to the floor. an example of what gideon does to things that stand in the way of getting what he wants. "we..Gideon.." I pulled my lips away from his own and looked down into his eyes. he stood still, his breathing hagard. "Rellie..I love you..I can't understand it; and whatever it is, It can't be evil." I looked down, and he kissed the side of my jaw bringing a soft smile to my face. taking this as submission, he lowered his head and placed a soft kiss upon my breast, flicking his tongue over the skin. a shiver ran up my spine, and for that moment, and the rest of the night as he and I enjoyed each other, I forgot that he was my brother.
Im not done. Anyway..not much to say at this minute. Im babysitting..it's a bore. see ya! :D

=-First Facade-=

2004-06-25T03:55:47Z

well this journal is going to actually stay seceret. That way, I can have a place all to myself. Unless someone I don't know stumbles across it. Then it's fine. Because they don't KNOW me. See the reasoning? Anyway, I'm going to talk about a few issues here that have been bugging me lately. the first one, is austin and the whole..phone sex deal..
I don't mind it, I really don't Call me odd but I ENJOY hearing him whisper dirty things he's going to do to me in tat oh so sexy voice of his. It excites me, and makes me tingle and shiver. How can I explain that to anyone? my best friend thinks it's sick, and she thinks austins a perverted bastard for it. she asked me how I could love someone who talks to me like that. Uh..I like it, that's how.
she doesn't get it, but that's ok. I just wish she wouldn't make me feel bad about it you know? whenever I try to respond to him, I freeze up and can't talk. I know he must be getting sick of it. That isn't good, becuase if I get even more boring then I am he might realise that im a huge waste of his time. I don't want that happening, I love him. so the other night, I thought about it. I'm ready to say those things to him, and respond. 'Get into the game.' because as my friend pointed out..
"relation ships based on lust, don't last long. they last until the sex (or whatever) gets boring." I do NOT think the relationship I have with austin is pure lust. I love him, I know that I do. I have no doubt in my mind that I love him..and everything about him. I don't want to think he's in it for that either...but..if he is, I don't want to take any chances. it'd hurt to loose him simply because I can't say something like.."mmm harder." or wtfever.I had a dream about him. it was nice. Emily and I had been driving, we stopped at this really huge house. we got out of the car, and there were loads of people dancing around and laughing and all that jazz. we walked inside, and I scanned the crowd. emily asked if anyone had seen austin, and some girl pointed. There he was. tall ass fucken hell, in his army uniform, heading up the stairs. I watched him go, and my heart. god damn I bet it was beating like hell as I slept! because it felt that way in my dream. emily shoved me twords the stairs, and was all.."go. say hi. something..go!" I walked up the stairs, and kind of spaced out for a while based on the fact I was in the same HOUSE as the man I loved...I walked through this bedroom, in a kind of haze looking for him. I walked right past him, and realising it I smiled. he looked over at me, and was like. "lisa..?" and I nodded..I walked forward, and he stood up. Hugging me reeeall tight..it felt so nice, he felt so good...he smiled, and said hello..and kissed me..it felt so good..god. I just couldn't belive it. Then, I woke up. I didn't want to wake up, I almost cried. well. anyway..that's all for tonight, I think I've written enough. my heart is now offcially in my throat, and my stomach..let's not even go there folks.I think the dream is what made me actually..feel like I could..do the whole..phone thing..
remember to always smile, and laugh louder then the rest.